i realised that heaping too much pressure on myself can lead to my downfall.. 'i WANT to complete it' is different from 'i CAN do it'. the former is pressure and the latter is expectations. indeed, who doesn't have expectations of themselves, i've lowered mine, but i'm still not happy w myself. i can't come to terms with it. i'm like 'was what i had achieved just a dream tt has thus gone up in flames?!' i can't deny tt i'm disappointed and frustrated, but it's mostly w my lack of ability to forget abt some pollutant in my head. my lack of confidence makes my hands tremble and my knees weak. i need to get back what i lost.. only 2 wks to train my physical, tt's hard, but mentally, i need to be strong enough to conquer my fear, and lack of confidence, and this, is possible.

on a happier note, i guess i gotta clarify all this commotion about who are the imposters, and who are the official members, and yet-to-be-certified ones. haha, well, this exclusive group is by invitation only as decided by the Pear Ringleader, who started it when she put 'her' pic on her msn. we go through a 'ceremony' of sorts, and until all official members have agreed and the certification successful, then this special person will be considered as one of the pear members. but until then, there are only 4 pears. when the full pear family is formed, i will post up their individual 'pictures' for all to see. so those in the queue or outside the waiting list, just be ur original self. in the meantime, is my blog gonna be a fruits gathering of sorts? *grinz*

oh n 7somez are planning a grad trip to Australia in early MAY! WooOooHooO~ i hope this matrialises! *cross fingers* Sydney and Melbourne! sounds like great fun! i can't wait! gotta start planning, but with all my deadlines of projects and assignments and presentations due, where do i find time?! *racks my brains for an answer* jeez.. guess i just gotta prioritise my time.. girls, we gotta meet up soon! love ya'll!