Tough tough Timetraumatic... depressing... troubling... affection... fond... like... love...
a mesh of concoction of words that all sound and mean so different yet disturbingly seem so similar to me at this point in time... an irony...
"what happened to plain and simple love? why does it seem so complex now? how did things somersault to the current situation? where did we make a wrong turn or a right one?"
i wish i knew the answers to all these questions, but the truth is, i don't. i have completely no idea. don't hafta tell me to follow my heart, for my mind messes and interferes constantly with my heart. as such, making a decision is hard, but the emotional torture takes over and i'm forced to come up with one. guess u guys should know by now that my heart is usually the one that overrules my mind. well, there may be exceptions...
i'm too bloody soft-hearted for my own good. ppl take advantage of me in this way. i cant seem to find a way to protect myself like this. defensive barriers may be up, but immediately crumble when contact is made. easy? yes. stupid? i'm not. my heart may be weak, even perhaps easily to be deceived, but my mind is strong and that is when i'm completely sure about what i've decided. in the meantime, i can only give myself and themselves time. there aint nothing i wanna force upon them. time is needed, and i hope it is given... ...
