Sing Me A Lullaby

A Week into Work..

perhaps i'm not used to it. perhaps i expected better. perhaps i wanted more.

the responsibilities involved are fine, cos they are giving me a bit at a time to learn more. the ppl are nice. but.. lunch is a chore. everyday, i dunno who i'll be eating with. lotsa ppl said it's weird, cos they dont even say "join me/ us?" and even so, i'm closer to the temp who is sitting beside me. but she'll only stay for another 2 mths.. sometimes, more often than not, she has lunch appts with her frenz. then i'll hope that sis is free to eat w me. so far it's been fine. hmm.. perhaps i'll hafta da bao next time.. =( haiz.. i hope when Ruix comes back, things will get better.. *cross fingers* and i hope that overtime too, i'll be more at ease in my dept. still feel i'm not being myself.. know what i mean?

i've grown to cherish my weekends more too, which now needs to be jam-packed with activities. i've begun to cherish the home-cooked food i get to eat for dinner even more so now. i've started to cherish the sleep that i thought i could have less of.

i wanna see more of my frenz. i wanna have more time with him. i wanna have the determination and strength to exercise physically after work.

i desire to eat but not grow fat. i desire to have a colleague that i'm able to bicker and laugh with. i desire a life more fulfilling rather than be consumed with work. (eat.climb.sleep is heaven, eat.work.sleep is horrendous!)

i'm still hoping for a better day..

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 9:36 PMY

HappY BiRTHdaY LiaN!

celebrated w her yst, tho it's supposed to be kinda like a 7some gathering, only jh n i turned up. 2 girls are over in the US while 1 MIA (WY, where are you???). but i know SF really wanted to come, her blurrr instructor's fault.. grrr.. but nonetheless, we had fun! lurrrve these girls!

it's so nice to have something to look fwd to midweek. having ppl to share stories at work with, being able to let down my hair and chit chat w them (it's a luxury cos when my colleagues are at work, it's really quiet!), able to be my jolly old self. tho it was only a short few hours, we had dinner at this place called BAB noodles @ Millenia where the food was pretty bad, but cheered ourselves up at TCC where we got Lian a bday cake! and of course, there's her Harry Potter present from us!

n here's jh w her oreo-stained teeth where we burst into laughter. so cuteeee! haha.. (okie, she didn't really want me to put her pic up, so i'll make it smaller) but anw, u can see how pretty she is in the previous pic. hehe.. must be inspired from the bo-geh witches? =]

alright, i shan't offend u Potter fans out there, there's not only the 2 of them, but there's Nit, her mum, Charl, Quan etc etc. enjoy the last book in the series, frenz!

Joy from Distractions

as mentioned earlier, when there's something to look fwd to midweek and at the end of the week, the week doesn't seem too long. meeting frenz, laughing heartily, embraced warmly.. feels so good. the support from Lian & JH were encouraging, and the hugs from the boy was soothing. i just hope that work will never take away my life outside of it. i don't just wanna look fwd to the salary. i hope that as time passes, i'll grow to like work. and even if i hafta work late, at least the incentive of meeting the boy really brightens me up =]

u know, when u look fwd to something, the things on hand don't seem that bad after all.

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 9:05 PMY

Fierce Bloggers

have u guys read Xiaxue's blog? jeez, i hope the existence of mine never gets into her ears and incur the wrath of her fury. i think it's more than suffice to say that i'm happy just sharing my life w my frenz. Jensen's post on the climbing blog stirred my curiosity on all the hype surrounding the more 'famous' bloggers of today. anw, shan't talk much abt tt anyway..

Awesome Weekend!

wow.. a good distraction away from thinking abt work. a nice dinner @ BrownSugar Cafe Bistro tucked away in River Valley away from the crowd on a Saturday night to celebrate my boy's bday. less the disappointment that they don't have any birthday promotions of any type as stated in the email reply from the boss of the place, the food was pretty good. (anw, i gave my feedback to the boss and he actually said he'd like to invite me back for a meal for 2, on the house! nice boss eh?) the bill came up to quite a bit, tho i was already expecting to pay abt $100 before the meal. considering what we ordered: deconstructed apple salad, lobster bisque, wagyu beef burger, aglio olio w tiger prawns, & bread and butter pudding, coupled with the nice ambience, it was worth it.

Sunday and Monday was spent lazing around in Sentosa though we didn't tan nor go to any of the attractions. we reached there mid-afternoon but had to get ready to leave for Fort Canning cos we had a date w his colleagues to watch Ballet Under the Stars. they bought him a really yummy brownie cake with colourful sugary letterings and deco! SweeEeeT (pun)! judging from the turnout, where the crowd occupied about 80% of the field, it sure did reflect the growing Arts scene. the picture below is of 4 dancers and u can actually see their movement in slow motion. the grace and technique they executed was really good! enjoyed the performance!

as it grew later, however, it became Ballet Under the Umbrella. the drizzle didn't dampen our spirits as we sought shelter under some trees (don't worry, there wasn't any lightning). the boy lit up the extra bday candles and placed them in the cute wine cups and we had a romantic evening =]

that was not before we toasted with red wine and sparkling water!

the later part of the night was spent playing card games and in the morning we just lazed along the beach eating what was left of the brownie and enjoying the breeze. the place was lit up w cheers and screams from one of the many Uni orientation camps that is always organized at this time of the year. and then off we went to shop awhile! haha.. bought a much-needed cardigan for work.

alright, today at work was pretty mundane cos after the brief orientation of the overview of office matters from my bosses, i was left to read two 10cm high files filled with notes of the systems etc. sheesh.. think practical would help me much more! but nonetheless, i get a feel of the systems. got 4 more days to learn the stuff from my colleagues before i start to do real work! they seem quite nice, tho i didn't get the chance to talk much to them cos i'm usually shy when i dunno ppl well, and my direct boss brought me out for lunch, tho it was a pretty awkward one since we didnt talk much. but she's nice to do so! hopefully things will get better and i'll get to know them more as time passes! can't wait for Ruix to return..

for now, i've gotta slp early.. work really saps your energy, even if it's just reading notes..

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 10:01 PMY

Some things left undone..

friday was spent.. alone yet fulfilling. had to go for my pre-employment medical checkup for which it took nearly 2 whole hours. the waiting time to go in b/w 3 rooms was horrendous and time inside those rooms? barely 5min. bah! after which i proceeded to Traffic Police HQ to finally replace the driving license that i had lost for close to 3 years! madness eh? oh, and the p-plate on my daddy's car is still in place and has not moved an inch! haha, oh well, even if i could drive and park w confidence, my parents would still think tt 'young ppl always havoc'.. next on my list was to go to tampines to check out all the sale there. bought some necessary stuff but was abit put off by the metro sale which looked so messy and chaotic tt i lost interest in checking out what good bargains there were.

all in all, i spent 7 hours outside of home, alone. i didn't feel lonely though, cos lotsa thoughts were churning in my head. Rach brightened up my day by calling me after her interview. we talked for more than half an hour abt interviewers and their questions, hair, working life, the end of studies, ppl etc etc. she's a super happening girl w her red streaks, bubbly and outgoing personality. really hope work wont keep us apart! the same goes to my other frenz who r working/studying. *cross fingers*

somehow i kinda feel tt the starting of work will change my world immensely. i feel like i've got lotsa things to do before work begins. i've gotta shop more. i've gotta meet up more w frenz. i've gotta spend more time w family. i've gotta talk to him more. i've gotta.. gotta.. jeez.. it's kinda stupid cos it's not as if i've moving to another country but it's just a different phase in my life tt i need some getting used to. i've gotta have confidence in myself, gotta have confidence in us! jia you to me =p

looking fwd to the weekend which is packed with fun activities since my boy's bday falls just in time before work starts (there i go again T_T). got some planning to do > counting down to the weekend > then, counting down to the first day of work!

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 10:13 PMY

Before work starts..

last sat the climbing team participated in Rockamania organized by TP so Nit n I went down to support the guys. the wait to see the girls climb in the intermediate category was uber long.. we reached there at 1.30 but left only abt 6pm. since we didnt wanna not see any girl climb, we waited for San to make her ascent, and boy did she do well! tho it was only the qualifiers, San and Char got 2nd and 3rd respectively! these 2 sure are amazing peeps! in the meantime, Nit and I were bored so we took pix =]

sat night was spent enjoying in the company of my boy. the next day, we went to the fish farms in Pasir Ris. supposed to have the grad photo shoot w my family but bro had last min probs w NS so we had to postpone it. anw, back to the fish farms. we cycled there, enjoying the breeze, soaking up the sun, loving the sights. well, this was the 2nd time i visited the place and it gives me a very laid back feeling watching all the little fishies swimming around in the tanks. the various colourful exquisite marine life that i never knew existed. i have learned to appreciate such stuff more and more w the knowledge that he feeds me on the different corals and fishes. interesting! after that, a swim w the family and dinner at Imperial Treasure Xiao Long Bao. *slurps*

on mon, it was Round 1 of shopping for work clothes! had a good harvest shopping w mummy dearest. whee~ only thing was that she thought those lacy collars that is all the rage now, looked q Auntie. bah! shall try on other designs to see if i really don't suit those cuttings. on tues, it was round 2! had my haircut done at Storm for only$20.90! so cheap plus it was good cut! the only thing i didnt like was tt the stylist kept persuading me to rebond saying tt my hair too pong. so he gave a preview of what it'd be like and he temporarily straightened it for a day since the lady who washed my hair knew i had dinner later on. well, it was really nice! tho, after washing my hair, it really is a bit pong, but i'd rather have it natural than rebonded.

so anw, i met up w Von dear after that. was really great catching up w her! (sheesh.. bro brought the camera to Desaru so i didnt take pix w her. there shall be a next time! ) we updated each other abt our lives, chatted alot and shopped alot too! Round 2 was a good harvest too, racking up abt $150 worth of clothes! there were 20% discounts on some while others denied me the pleasure of getting a good bargain. tried on quite alot of clothes, and felt really bad cos Von was waiting for me + since i was wearing a dress, i didnt wanna keep trying on stuff and got lazy towards the end of our shopping spree. whew! luckily Von made quite a few purchases and i didnt feel tt guilty after all. P.S. Von, rem tt we shall exchange our cardigans for half a yr ok? *winks* n rem too, tt u've got some wonderful frenz tt cherishes u (like me)! *huggies*

dinner was at Suntec Guild House for the graduating class of 2007. not tt we wanted to join as members but went there to enjoy bbq buffet for $20 w Rach JJ TM & CY. jeez, if we had come a little later, we could have snuck in fr the back and enjoyed free food like Rach! haha.. well, out of 8000 graduates from NUS, only abt 70 or so turned up? tt's abt less than 1%! whoops.. but anw, the night ended off w good laughs provided from the entertainer. think: boom boom room. we all thought it'd be Kumar, but it wasn't to be. nonetheless, the trans did well w her good humour and entertaining style.

jeez.. now tt work draws nearer, i'm kinda dreading next week.. no more shopping w mummy. no more late nights. i've gotta get used to sleeping early instead of waiting for the boy to finish work. & no more late lunch w him.. SF said tt we've gotta make time for each other since i guess we'll be 2 busy ppl working in banks now. the only time will be the weekends tho dinner is possible too on weekdays should i hafta OT. well, meeting him for dinner shall be my incentive for staying late in the office =] now, a new chapter in my life is taking shape. i'll confront it bravely, i hope! anw, later on shall be Round 3 of shopping again with mummy! *snickers* ><

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 2:51 AMY

Grad Dinner '07

the climbing team met up last friday at Brewerkz for dinner, specially organized for the graduated batch of climbers which includes me! hehe.. well, it was a gathering of the current team, last year's team and alumni climbers.. there were close to 35 ppl! a pity we didn't take a group photo though. it was great fun seeing everybody chilling, chatting, crapping, laughing.. shiok! i reached Clarke Quay abt 530pm cos San ended work early so went there to accompany her. surprisingly, i bought a bag while shopping w her! haha, well it's pretty unexpected cos San's comments are usually 'ok la' (for her standards, it means to us its quite nice) or 'not nice' (ugly!). dinner was supposed to be at 7 but i think we only started eating some time past 830pm! climbers.. *tsk tsk* some think the rest will be late so they come later.. bah! but we're all used to it, so there'll still be some early birds who'll go there to wait for the rest.

food shared by the 6 of us: Adrian, Nit, San, Char, Dan and me. there was chilli cheese fries, lamb shank, pork ribs, sausages and prawn arrabiata. then when all the food arrived, i realised that there was no veg! sheesh.. all the meat and carbs.. *screams* haha, but i'm not tt conscious now tho, just developed a strong liking for veg these past 6 mths. weirdly, while i trimmed my food intake in the past, it hardly seemed to show any effects yet at the gathering, quite alot of ppl said i've slimmed down, n chin has become sharper. really?! so i guess perhaps, refraining from climbing helps me to lose weight then. hmmm.. jeez, after eating out quite often with DD, seems like i've grown to appreciate good food and have cravings for them. *slurps*

Dan all ready to tuck in!

the 6 graduated/graduating buncha climbers with the trying-to-grab-attention-seekers at the back.

another shot of the 6 of us plus Jss from the shores of NTU, wearing the motar board to signify the entering of a new phase in life. some already working, some going to further their studies, some having other commitments and Kelly (in green) is going to Europe for perhaps 6mths to 1yr to climb and tour. happening! ~imagine cooking in mess tins and pitching a tent in the suburbs~ some of u might think it's tough, but i'd say it sounds like fun! don't really think i can last for mths tho.

me with my parting gift: a yummy-licious delectable delight from Gobi, which was chosen cos it reminded my frenz of me =] *hearts*

the gang..

introducing.. Christer, a Swedish researcher in FASS who's an amazing climber btw. after he shaved his head, he's got tt David Beckham aura. cutteee!

to end off, my dearest girl buddies!

hope to see all of u real soon!

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 11:18 PMY

Simple Words

..that touched my soul

...that warmed my heart

....that moved me to tears

so simple yet so intense. so strong yet so gentle.

i was happily subdued.

incredibly indescribable.

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 12:14 AMY

Relief > HappinesS

whew! i finally got a job offer! haha, and it's something that i like too! whee~ many thx to my climbing senior, Ruix, for referring me to this position. yeah! haha.. so HApPieEEeee! quite a relief actually, cos at my 2nd interview with the regional head of that department, i felt it went pretty well except that i could have churned out better answers to her questions, so i was pretty bummed abt it when i reflected upon it thereafter. but seriously, whew! *wipes sweat off forehead* i've finally been accepted =] i've yet to accept the offer though, gotta ask a few more questions before i confirm.

haha, was so happy that i got to share the news with my mum (who had incidentally planned to stay home tt morning instead of going out) and also with LY who was online. haha.. thx BaBe! so nice to share the joy with loved ones cos they'll be happy for me. hee~ told Xin dear too, cos she wants to know when i get an offer. she's just gotta be more confident of herself cos she's much more capable than she actually think she is. JiAyou dearie!

ohoh, and yst i met up with my JC gang. so nice meeting up w ppl and catching up. those that graduated already had gotten jobs, and i was the only one left then! and then, we talked about toilet etiquette again! haha like the previous Guides outing, but this time was different as we talked abt the different positions ppl did when going to the squat toilet and how ppl wipe their butts. sooo interesting! hope we meet up soon! oh, and Sam, Ru and I still owe u a treat lo, dun reject us girl! =]

later my family and i will be going to watch Harry Potter! sis' company gave free tix to the employees so yeah! watching on the first day too.. whee~ but was actually supposed to meet Von dear for dinner. jeez.. we'll meet up next week okie dear? sry!

hmmm.. now i've gotta plan the next week, impt events coming up and also gotta go shopping for work clothes cos i've really got a limited range.. ugh! oooohh, but luckily GSS ends on 22 july and work starts on 23rd, which is just nice for me to go chiong on a shopping spreeee~ hehe.. LaalaLala~~~ *grinz*

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 12:54 PMY

Commencement '07 pix

were busy looking for Rach for the past half hour but we couldnt get her, so we took a pic for the econs gang first.

at last, we got the 6 of us econs graduates together. Dorcas (on the far left) is continuing with Hons in econs. jiayou girl! while Liqing is doing Hons in phsychology.

next is my fave pic taken w my bestie! haha.. she was pretty embarrassed while taking the shot cos one of the professional photogs wanted a shot of us thru her sis' camera but it didnt turn out right after a few tries so he gave up.

with Ruth and her many presents! the boy and the queen had yet to arrive =phere's us in attempting to throw our motar boards up in the air in one of the few photos. some threw too high, some threw ok, but all of us had forgotten tt we had to catch our own when it fell back down. whee~ Jane's was way high and it fell quite a distance away =D

and of course, my beautiful wonderful family for supporting me through all my 18 years of studying! all the nagging, the encouragement, the dismissal, the scoldings.. whew! nothing to do with studies anymore..

this nicely taken shot w my motar board suspended in the air.. good shot snapped just nice by the cute photog =]

the Ng sisters, graduates of economics, posing with the graduated nus lion.

me, with my scroll >>> officially graduated!

now, still finding work.. ooooppsss..

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 6:48 PMY

Commencement '07

ppl ask me, what's the difference having graduated from Uni. my opinion? nothing much actually, just tt i can forget abt the stress of having to take exams, which can force me to the point of a breakdown. studying is fun, not exams. of course, working can be quite monotonous and even more stressful than exams, but, i guess my studies will stop here for now. earn money to buy the things i want and to go travelling! it's so much fun! can't wait for the next trip =]

going on stage to receive my degree? (the scroll is actually empty, just tt few seconds of 'fame') i'm just afraid i'll trip over sth, and falling flat on my nose. after the ceremony was the fun part.. photo taking! whee~ haha..

07.07.07 lucky date as many ppl say. hope this commencement date brings me luck in finding a good job! hee~ ooh, and the lovely pretty flowers from him were a pleasant surprise =p ! lurrrved them! it was dear Rach's bday too! HAppy BiRthDay girL (top right)!

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 1:10 AMY

Does History Matter?

World Wars, conflicts, childhood, upbringing.. from situations to personal lives, history lies in every single corner of the earth, but how much do they matter? we learn about the past to be better prepared for the future. take Sg for example, there's Total Defence Day & Racial Harmony Day. we cant disregard history, for they may reoccur and no one wants history to repeat itself. keeping that in mind too, we shouldn't harp too much abt it but instead should move forward. this is where the mass media comes in, where technology advancement takes place to ensure that the world becomes a safer place. indeed, what comes to mind are countries like N.Korea & Russia. 'self-defence' they say, yet possibly in the back of their minds it's not the case. other countries then start beefing up security and improving their own defense mechanisms. the viscious cycle then starts. when will it end?

now, take things from a different perspective. the only constant thing in the world is change. don't countries change, people change? look at Japan.. hotspot tourist destination, amazing culture, first-class technology to name a few. no destruction but construction. a changed image. similarly, people are as complex. change in character, change in tastes, change in perception etc.

ppl may change for the worse, or better. external influences may be a pain in the ass but turn the situation around to your advantage. don't see the world through slit eyes, filtering the positive components out. if so, your world would be a dark and gloomy place, filled with hate and sorrow. one may desire comfort and compassion of others, but have you heard of compassion fatigue? i pray that the world doesnt reach this limit.. there's light at the end of the tunnel, just gotta use that bit of determination and perseverence.. nothing is impossible.

mistakes, doesn't everyone make that ever so often, even if unknowingly? 'forgive and forget' something so easy to say, yet so hard to accomplish. on radio last night, i heard a listener say 'love is tougher than mistakes'. in every relationship: within a family, among friends, between couples, there comes understanding. the listener was responding to a situation abt the dwindling happiness in an 8-yr marriage. situations come with a choice, it all depends on whether you choose to understand, accept and move on. leave the past behind. people change for the better.

we know this. but sometimes, at the back in the small corner of our mind, we're weary and afraid, but for now, we choose to have happy thoughts instead of letting mindless thoughts weigh us down..

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 12:06 PMY

Nita and Interesting Issues

after the interview today, i plonked my butt down in Suntec's starbucks @ 345pm waiting for DD to accompany me for half an hour before he went trotting off to work. he bought me caramel macchiato and ugly chicken puff, 2 of my 3 regular food there (the other being hazelnut latte). sweeeet! after he left, i read the New Paper for an hour before Nitz arrived! whew! finally some company =] we then talked for close to 2.5 hr before the rest of the gang came @ 745pm, which then = 4hr in Starbucks! P.S. haha, but at least this time was sitting on the sofa instead of the hard wooden chairs when Sinilians met up and talked abt tampons, audit, RL's lack of 'hey' to Sam, toilet etiquette etc. that was last Fri @ vivocity's starbucks from 10pm to 2am. lurrrve the chats =]

perhaps it's cos we have gone home together many times during the past 2 years that we became so comfortable talking to each other. tt i'd confide in her and talk to her abt anything (am i always the one talking?! haha) this time, we talked abt hospitals - patients, doctors, nurses & admin stuff. docs could never function w/o nurses beside them, so don't hail all docs cos they ain't all that almighty! *snickers* oh, and hospital operations are really complicated, so patients, pls be considerate and think twice before complaining cos the ppl that get the shit aren't the ones who were at fault. oh oh oh, and peeps, don't steal Nit's oxygen cos she needs to breathe.. alot.. *winks*

we then moved on to the topic of financial planning and network marketing. undeniably, there's obvious differences between the 2, but working in these 2 lines are similar, to me. at the start, it's sales, which brings about personal growth, confidence, money etc. moving on, u get to manage people and learn more interpersonal and communication skills. moving on further and higher, passive income comes in and your downlines work while u get to retire early and reap the benefits of your hard work. good stuff eh? yes, i'd agree. but i've been there, done that. the topic was brought up bcos i went to a financial planner interview unknowingly since the 'UK-based financial services company' didn't wanna name itself when it advertised for a management associate position. they always paint the 'worst case scenario', but it seems to me tt tt would be at most the best. i will never deny that MLM is bad or 'it-cant-be-done' since Andrew is someone i know who has realistically achieved his dreams and is a high-flyer now. perhaps you could say the 2 paths are 'acquired tastes' for not everyone is suited or feels that they should be in that line, but those who do, and firmly believe in their decisions goals and dreams, will succeed.

then, there's also bad habits. in life, one of the most dangerous >> dependence. with continued, unwavering dependence, how does an individual live? first, can u call that person an 'individual', or do u associate him/her with another person cos they perhaps come in pairs? indeed, everyone has a certain degree of reliance on a loved one, but to what extent is acceptable? overly reliant is potentially degrading to health, for without that support, one may lack the will to live. scary but true. i know of many guys that would like their other half to be dependent on them, yet when the girl doesn't know how to control tt dependence, the bf may get frustrated and irritated > tempers flare, quarrels ensue, barriers intruded upon, freedom taken away. balanced relationships will only be stable with give-and-take actions and definitely not one-sided. for when it's tilted, stress amounts on one party while the other is happier, but ultimately, the r/s is an unhealthy one. pampering a child has it's pros and cons, and bringing up a child is definitely not an easy task. while in your parents care, they shower u with utmost concern and love, and protect u from any external harm. but in reality, when thrown into the corporate world, it is an ugly place > backstabbing, politics, stress, deadlines etc. freakky.. u gotta fend for yourself. you're alone, yet surrounded by ppl who support you and cheer u on. gotta choose to look at things in a different light, positive, if possible.

we talked abt the issues and analysed them. made me think more indepth and realised that life is just full of choices, where you need to make a few to build a happier, satisfying and fulfilling one. should u choose to ignore, or choose the wrong choices, that decision is yours and yours alone to face up and conquer whatever obstacles you may face in the future.

interesting.. =] always lurrrve our conversations. i'll miss them!!! *bawlssss* Nitz and I aren't in the climbing varsity team anymore since she's started her attachment in hospitals and i've graduated. my faithful and beloved Eastie! next time i shall bring u to cheesecake cafe and we shall try the food in siglap, don't look far, look near to our place cos there's lotsa yummy goodies! our 3 hearts in 3 different places : Camp 5, KL > Krabi, Thailand > Perhentian Island, Terrengganu