Sing Me A Lullaby

Holding back...

the tears tt are brimming on the edge.. threatening to fall yet i blink them back yet again.. i dun wanna think abt it, but i wanna be alone, n thus i think.. n i've gotta blink again.. multiple times.. i wanna be strong, i wanna put on a smile.. but it's so forced it hurts.. my heart wrenches.. yes, my love has let me down again.. not tt of a person though.. this is tt of one tt surpasses any love i've felt before.. tt of climbing.. the perseverence the determination the endurance the passion the rage the frustration the madness the awe but of course, there's also the peace.. and that, is what i lack.. there's a million things churning in my head, and i can't pinpoint which one but all chose to cause the start of a waterfall.. yet again.. which i thought was over.. i grabbed Nit to go for a walk, cos i wanna hide from the rest.. hide from the stares.. the criticisms.. the worry.. the sadness.. yeah, i'm thinking too much again.. i can't help it.. i need an avenue to let it out, n i can't hold back any longer.. charl surprised me with a lovely red flower, complete w my name n 2 simple words 'cheer up' + a smiley face. damnnn sweet.. n i thought i was fine after tt, meeting silly bum n all.. apparently not.. was just witholding more to come.. gritting my teeth, clenching my fists, trying to smile.. all failed.. n in the end, i'm just a sponge, which absorbed too much, n left dripping.. boy, does it hurt!