Sing Me A Lullaby

Last post of the Year

as usual, a year brings gains and also losses...
in 2005, a broken relationship filled with lies at the end killed my heart yet once again. even after tt r/s, more lies ensued yet i was willing to forgive and we forged a friendship instead. of course, my naive thinking (once again) led me to believe it'd work out. but with lack of communication and dismal attention, things faded into the horizon. as such... i assume tt i've lost this friendship. someone who took me for granted, someone who once loved me, someone who lied, someone who made me trust wholeheartedly, someone who dismantled the fairytale option, yet simultaneously, a door closed and another opened... and another... ...

a lost friend returned, this someone who robbed me of all feelings, this someone who broke me in various pieces, this someone who made me lose touch w pride... 4 years later, with memories still stark in the background yet forgiveness served promptly as time passed, this friend reappeared. of course, there ain't any guarantee in any friendship, new or old. we shall see how it progresses or fades... ...

an unidentified person locates a lost soul and puts it back in place. the smile, the laughter, the joy, yet at some weird timings, there's a little frustration. he comes and goes, and is coming back in just a few days, but as mentioned in an earlier post, no anticipation, just wait. for now, i'm confused, i'm scared and i may run away (again)... but of course, i gotta find myself first.

i broke out of my shell, yet the past few months, i formed a barrier that i've gotta break out on my own once again. there ain't no excuse. there ain't no reason either. it's just something that i gotta do, wanna do, hafta do, and needa do. strength ; endurance ; power ; technique. may all these come naturally back to me... ...

new frenz, new mates, new team, new fun, new targets... has been great being part of such an amazing team. i hope i've bonded the team together, but of course they did it themselves too. i cant be much of an inspiration to them cos of my lack of training due to my injury, but i hope they know tt i've tried and i hope tt they are all happy to call climbing their comfort zone. rumours, bullies, scandals, victims>> all part of a fantastic year i have had with them. more to come, yet limited time to spend. cherish and treasure i will, for University would never be THIS fulfilling had i not found such great companionship in these people and of course the sport itself... simply amazing...

my sis... i wish i knew her better. i wish i understood her. i wish we were as close as last time. i wish she could see me, see us. but all these come so hard now... i dunno why, but everytime i think abt us, it wrenches my heart and my eyes just well up w tears. there's hardly any talk b/w us. and her world just revolves around tt one person. indeed, i'm happy for her, she's a lucky girl, but things just seem so distant around here. yeah, i guess i've just gotta accept change. it's hard... i've been trying for a year, and it's still hard...i hope things will be better in 2007 cos i'm just at a loss and it hurts so much... ...

family, cousins, relatives>> my loved ones. let's all hold hands and be closer as one unit. there's always this unspoken sentence of how much we love each other. actions speak louder than words, so let's all leave the past behind and look forward to more great gatherings together! P.S. Kinny, u are dearly missed by me!

dearest frenz from anywhere and everywhere have obviously played a big part in my life, supporting me, nagging at me (7somez!) and loving me. i love all of u peeps! P.S. xin dear, thx for being my punching bag, enduring all my blows of various stories, u're the best i could ever ask for =]

a great year 2006, the year when i turned 21, even though i wish i were still younger than tt. but nonetheless the perks of growing older>> freedom, more money to be earned, more shopping! hehe... and then again... 2007 will be when i start work in the scary world of work politics *shivers* but... i will survive! endure! persist! 2007, bring it on!

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 1:21 AMY

Heartbreak

she pierces my heart with one fierce glance or one pissed sentence. it hurts so much but she doesnt know. perhaps it's the stuff that i do or perhaps, didnt do. but she's always pissed. somehow, it seems to be only directed at me. stay clear of her or try to get close to her. so contradicting yet so clear. such irony... the tears fall but i quickly blink them back into place for fear that she'll see how she affects me. i dont know if she knows, perhaps she does but doesnt really want to care for she thinks she's always right... damn... it hurts... it hurts... but there's nothing to do but to bear with it... that's what everyone does and tells me to do... but it still hurts...

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 12:12 AMY

MeRRy X'Mas!

the season of giving and gatherings, no matter how how big or small the size. with frenz, it's always heart-warming =]

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 10:19 PMY

My AmaZing FamiLy

indeed, the holiday wouldn't be great if not for great company! the tour group wasn't much fun this year compared to the last when we went to Turkey. well, perhaps it was the tight schedule that made us all sleepy once we boarded the bus. nonetheless, annual family holidays are always something that i look forward to. i guess we'll hafta forfeit next yr and probably also the year after since lil' bro has gotta go NS. hmm... guess when u consider that he's already 18 going on to 19, and that he's going to the army, he ain't that lil' huh? gee, he's still my dear lil' bro though =]

oh, and that i'll be a working adult like sis, my bros will get more wild and dine out often (raging teenage hormones. hehe...), the 4 kids will kinda be more attached to our partners and frenz by then? anyhow, our parents are still the dearest to us, so i hope that 2 yrs down the road, we'll still be able to have our annual holidays! *anticipation*

our family of 6. forming a star. our fingers linked through a simple touch of each.

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 6:40 PMY

Kimono Models

pretty babes whose skin were flawless, actions were demure, footwork were dainty and smiles were charming (pretty plastic too cos it was plastered on their faces during the whole show). oh, but gorgeous kimonos! 1.5 million yen since they are pure silk. (10,000 yen = 135SGD, so go figure)

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 2:49 AMY

Cutsie pix

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 6:54 PMY

Different views in Japan (winter)

some of that in Disneyland Tokyo, Universal Studios Japan, living quarters during the Meiji restoration, and of course, most significant of all is the statue u see which is the peace garden in Nagasaki where the atomic bomb was dropped on 9th Aug 1945, 11:02am. the right hand pointing to the sky is from where the bomb dropped, horizontal left hand symbolises peace and the position of the legs shows peace through actions and not just plain talk.

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 5:41 PMY

Away from Here

goodbye singapore. goodbye sadness. goodbye stress. goodbye darkness. goodbye frustration. goodbye loneliness.

welcome the world. welcome happiness. welcome laughter. welcome smiles. welcome love. welcome warmth.

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 8:43 PMY

WeiRd Hair

*screams* i've got the weirdest hair now man... it's too flat... maybe it's cos i ain't used to it, but it looks weird... dun wanna face the world.... *yikes* got mixed reviews about it. half of 7some says it suits me and it's pretty stylo (the other half haven't seen yet) and my family said it needs time getting used to cos it's so diff. even more different when i chopped off my locks. cant wait for my natural hair to grow out soon! quick grow quick! u guys shall see when i regain back my confidence. now, too shy to post any pix =]

FamiLy BonDing

*cheers* can't wait to go Japan and fly on SIA! counting down in 12 hours! ~WooO HooOo~ the sad thing is tt when we touch down in Japan, we'll be straight away whisked off to Tokyo Disneyland. not tt it's a bad thing, just tt this means we'll hafta sleep on the plane. BUT there's so much stuff to do on the plane! like movie marathon! it's all good stuff anyway, so i'm excited! oh, and i just found out from mummy tt there'll be 4 days of shopping! *jaws drop* ~WoOoHooo~ won't be a full 4 days of course maybe just a few hours. besides, it's winter over there and their goods are sooo ex! hopefully can find some good deals, if possible. *cross fingers*

oh, on the last day of exams, a handful of us climbers went to eat this porridge-based steamboat buffet in LiangSeah street, through the recommendation of Edwin. wasn't too bad, but wasnt fabulous. san was especially on a high tt day. perhaps from climbing and away from studying. she just couldnt wait to eat the food just thrown in not long ago when she saw some bubbles. hah... was a fun day, albeit the disappointment in the deterioration of my climbing strength... (7somez gonna nag at me again. know u guys are concerned... but... =p) bah!

anyway, we were talking about family issues and i realised tt i've got a pretty close/tight-knit family. *heart warming* the 4 of us get along well with one another. talk to my lil' bros abt theirs and my life and our personal issues/ relationships. not really much w sis nowadays cos she's pretty occupied most of the time. ye, and i'll lie on my bros' lap or link arms with them and call their nicknames only used by me or call them 'darling'. haha weird to u aint it? feels pretty normal, but apparently didn't seem the case in other households. i guess we all just have different ways of showing affection =] cos ultimately, we love our family deeply and unconditionally, knowing tt they are our invisible pillars of support (other than frenz). bring on many more fun-filled holidays together!

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 9:46 AMY

The Month of DeceMber

the end of the year yet the start of the month. the time for reflections the time for after-thoughts the time for pondering the time for decision making the time for determination the time for making-your-life-turn-the-right-way-up the time for let's-put-the-past-behind.

essentially, it's the time for one to think about what could have been done better this past year. as always, life is unpredictable and to quote forrest gump (the phrase tt was used v widely in the past) "Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." from joys to sorrows and vice versa, from hope to despair and vice versa, from anticipation to desperation and vice versa, from amazement to disgust and vice versa. of course, what i'm emphasizing on is from the positive to the negative aspects of life, which also implies bad news. but bad news before good news, makes you more ready to face the storm don't you think? (personally, bad news comes before good news is the choice preferred when any information is related to me. but no, if u're wondering if i've had a bad year, tt's not the case. ups and downs are the usual, but all the same, it has been a fulfilling year for me. )

things which u were planning to happen for a long time, failed to take place; while situations which u never expected to even visualise, occured. feelings, emotions up in turmoil somehow seemed to have calmed down. the last of the autumn leaves have settled, and is now awaiting the onslaught of winter. the winter may seem dreary but has hidden treasures nevertheless. the spring thereafter is the burst of light and hope that one envisages. but still, the month of december first before the first month of the new year begins.

a new beginning perhaps? or a new life? the difference? the former is the same you, but different chapters. the latter is a different you and thus, different chapters. how about a new try? or a renewed persistence? the former is a different you but same chapters and the latter is the same you and thus same chapters. how your introduction of your story begins in 2007, is ultimately planned by your conscious, or pehaps more likely, your sub-conscious mind...

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 1:29 AMY

Happy BirtHday CheR!

my going home pal, fellow eastie, tj mate, past junior cum climbing pal, HapPy BiRthdAy dear! this babe with the megawatt smile and super infectious presence of making ppl happy, is an amazing girl! she never fails to light up a smile on ppl's face and brings great joy to all! haha, loved by all... WE love YOU! =]

Happy BirThday Jay!

friend of mine since we were back in primary school. sam tze n jay (as featured) r ppl who have known me for ten years and counting! hope there'll be many more to come! my fellow brother scout, and bus 48 pal. his mum is also my all-time favourite teacher! the wonders of life in small singapore =] have a great party dude though i'm really sorry i can't be there to enjoy the fun... *yikes* but i know it'll be a smash!