Last post of the Yearas usual, a year brings gains and also losses...in 2005, a broken relationship filled with lies at the end killed my heart yet once again. even after tt r/s, more lies ensued yet i was willing to forgive and we forged a friendship instead. of course, my naive thinking (once again) led me to believe it'd work out. but with lack of communication and dismal attention, things faded into the horizon. as such... i assume tt i've lost this friendship. someone who took me for granted, someone who once loved me, someone who lied, someone who made me trust wholeheartedly, someone who dismantled the fairytale option, yet simultaneously, a door closed and another opened... and another... ...
a lost friend returned, this someone who robbed me of all feelings, this someone who broke me in various pieces, this someone who made me lose touch w pride... 4 years later, with memories still stark in the background yet forgiveness served promptly as time passed, this friend reappeared. of course, there ain't any guarantee in any friendship, new or old. we shall see how it progresses or fades... ...
an unidentified person locates a lost soul and puts it back in place. the smile, the laughter, the joy, yet at some weird timings, there's a little frustration. he comes and goes, and is coming back in just a few days, but as mentioned in an earlier post, no anticipation, just wait. for now, i'm confused, i'm scared and i may run away (again)... but of course, i gotta find myself first.
i broke out of my shell, yet the past few months, i formed a barrier that i've gotta break out on my own once again. there ain't no excuse. there ain't no reason either. it's just something that i gotta do, wanna do, hafta do, and needa do. strength ; endurance ; power ; technique. may all these come naturally back to me... ...
new frenz, new mates, new team, new fun, new targets... has been great being part of such an amazing team. i hope i've bonded the team together, but of course they did it themselves too. i cant be much of an inspiration to them cos of my lack of training due to my injury, but i hope they know tt i've tried and i hope tt they are all happy to call climbing their comfort zone. rumours, bullies, scandals, victims>> all part of a fantastic year i have had with them. more to come, yet limited time to spend. cherish and treasure i will, for University would never be THIS fulfilling had i not found such great companionship in these people and of course the sport itself... simply amazing...
my sis... i wish i knew her better. i wish i understood her. i wish we were as close as last time. i wish she could see me, see us. but all these come so hard now... i dunno why, but everytime i think abt us, it wrenches my heart and my eyes just well up w tears. there's hardly any talk b/w us. and her world just revolves around tt one person. indeed, i'm happy for her, she's a lucky girl, but things just seem so distant around here. yeah, i guess i've just gotta accept change. it's hard... i've been trying for a year, and it's still hard...i hope things will be better in 2007 cos i'm just at a loss and it hurts so much... ...
family, cousins, relatives>> my loved ones. let's all hold hands and be closer as one unit. there's always this unspoken sentence of how much we love each other. actions speak louder than words, so let's all leave the past behind and look forward to more great gatherings together! P.S. Kinny, u are dearly missed by me!
dearest frenz from anywhere and everywhere have obviously played a big part in my life, supporting me, nagging at me (7somez!) and loving me. i love all of u peeps! P.S. xin dear, thx for being my punching bag, enduring all my blows of various stories, u're the best i could ever ask for =]
a great year 2006, the year when i turned 21, even though i wish i were still younger than tt. but nonetheless the perks of growing older>> freedom, more money to be earned, more shopping! hehe... and then again... 2007 will be when i start work in the scary world of work politics *shivers* but... i will survive! endure! persist! 2007, bring it on!