Sing Me A Lullaby

HapPy biRthdaY JiaHui!

the last of 7some to turn 21! yippee! we all can watch R21 movies le... haha, though it's nothing much to celebrate. thx for the dinner tt u treated us too! tho the service n food wasn't tt good at secret recipe =/, but as usual, the company was great =) hope u liked the mini surprises esp your baby-G watch! sooo pretty! gee, it's also the time to celebrate the memories we've shared since we were 13, and the many many more years of happening times we'll be sharing in the future!

just a shout out to the babes! thx so much for helping me along the way in the course of life and for always being there! (PS wish u were here too LinG!)*MuAckZ*

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 9:42 AMY

UpsiDe DowN

are things as complicated as i think them to be? if we are frenz, why am i scared tt i'm disturbing them? or tt i shouldnt be the one to talk to them first? ok, u see. i dun like not being frenz with anyone, just tt i'm scared tt other ppl might be unhappy, say their gfs... ooh... touchy... cos i know how it feels... but the thing is, we're REALI just frenz, but being an ex just turns everything upside down doesnt it? (no matter how innocent the friendship might be)

though comfy w each other, at times, the feeling is just wrong. sometimes, the other party becomes less sensitive to how u feel since i've become like the 'brudder' buddy ... ugh! or tt, maybe we weren't destined to meet in reality again, but to just be virtual penpals... *ruffles hair*

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 2:04 AMY

My HiStory of CLimBing

needed to do sth tt would spice up my life after a breakup and since i wasnt staying in hall anymore, i had lotsa time on my hands and uni just didnt seem fun enough without extra activities. was just climbing for fun w my grp of friends at Climb Adventure, when i decided to try for the team.

i went for the trials but thought i wouldnt get in cos i saw San n Liying climbing like pros! wahhaa... Bet Liying would be a pro if she could continue to climb... MISS her! but yeah, i got in and i was ecstatic! the starting first few months was a very trying period cos i was performing badly and felt demoralized. damn glad i persisted on cos i've never been happier to be part of this team! hehz... the trip to KL in Dec '05 reali bonded us closer. but it was also where i began to realise that i had an immense fear of heights. this was the route which killed me in Camp 5... UGH! i'll go back and conquer it!

haiz.. too bad for now, my fingers are crapz... k here's the long-anticipated deformed fingers of mine tt u all have been nagging and scolding me abt... hmm... guess u guys cant reali see, but have seen it in real life. so yeah... will be seeing chinese physician tmr again, so dont worry! (=

ooh... n Krabi,Thailand was an amazing trip. SUPERB! the sun sand sea, natural rock walls and of course the company, it all rocked man! hope the trip to Chiang mai this Dec will just be as great or even BetTer cos there'll be more ppl and the juniors are a crazy and mad bunch! hahaz... ok here's a whole lot of pix just for SF! =)

and here's sports ball w the sports Queen! whee~! CLimBinG RoCks!!! (>-<)

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 11:01 PMY

SmiLes > LaughTer > HappiNess ...

1* ... is looking at your family during dinner and ThAnk God that they are here with you, guiding you with every step in life. no sacrifice is ever big enough for the magical touches they have added to dazzle up your life. a smile lights up your face, and you're glad that you're loved. ~blessedness~

2* ... is looking at your cousins while doing an activity with them, and laugh out loud at their cute and funny antics. the laughter is uncontrolled, though u might not fully understand their topic-of-the-moment like Dota & their Business, you will always give your utmost support and encouragement. u're glad that you're spending time with them. sweet & simple. ~delight~

3* ... is looking at photos of tt special someone since his physical presence is missing temporarily and smile unknowingly. you're happy just because he's happy, safe and having a great time. though there is limited communication, those precious sweet words are enough to leave a smile on till the next time you guys meet again, regardless of it being virtually or physically. ~bliss~

4* ... is looking at the frenz you're hanging out with and smile with delight how great it is to be chilling with them, and laugh heartily at the conversations and jokes that are freely shared. be it frenz since 10yrs back or frenz made these recent yrs, your heart warms up to the fact that it is due to the presence of these amazing ppl that has shaped who you are today. you may not have met them for quite awhile due to different and busy schedules, or you may have just met them yesterday, but the feeling is mutual. both parties are loved and appreciated. ~joyousness~

5* ... is looking at your teammates play sports while cheering encouraging and egging them on with much enthusiasm. it doesnt matter tt perhaps you can't join them for this short period due to injury, cos all that matters is that you're part of a dynamic and tenacious team of warriors who share the exact same passion and goals as you in sports. the smiles of satisfaction, the shouts of joy and the exclaimations of wonder, is the happiness that nothing other than sports can bring you. ~exhiliration~

6* ... is looking back at the past and seeing what a silly girl you were but laugh it off because you're happy where you are now. the lessons learnt, the experienced gained, the love found and lost, the ppl who came and went, separations and reunions. all this contributed the tears of joy and tears of sorrow, but ultimately, these are what made you a better person and a stronger one. you're glad cos you know things happen for a reason and if circumstances were any different, you wouldnt be who you are or where you are now today. ~contentedness~

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

this is inspiration from someone who frowns perpetually... but it's all just based on my personal experience. so the 'you' is actually... me! SMILE peeps! smile with me, cos you guys are the ones that make me smile =)

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 9:33 PMY

The PerFect BodY / Self- CoNfideNce

what constitutes the perfect body? skinny slender slim; busty voluptuous full; toned lean fit ? there are always surveys conducted in theUS to see the percentage of women who are satisfied with their bodies. the results always come back as only a small minority who feel this way. mass media is always more often than not thought of as one of the social ills. the banning of models in Madrid who have a BMI of 18 are all the rage now. yet as this piece of news is highly publicised, it also reflects on the dismissal attitude of the rest of the fashion world. and ultimately, the final verdict: thin is IN.

perfection will never truly set in till you're finally contented with the end product. and even so, there are still improvements tt can be made. so in tt case, perfection may never exist. there are thousands of ppl who are hooked on plastic surgery. and yes, i mean addicted. surgery after surgery is never enough for them to be satisfied with how they look. nose jobs, boob jobs, liposuction etc etc, they've done all, yet no matter how much they change physically, their mental state of mind is a mess. it may start of by simple harmless teasing which may then escalate to the point tt 'u're the only ugly person in the world'. family and frenz' words of advice will start pouring in, but the only piece of advice u'll heed, is tt of your own.

i guess it all boils down to one thing: self-confidence >> behaving calmly because you have no doubts about your ability or knowledge. it's essential for growth. it affects the way u carry yourself. it shows in the way u behave. so unless you're confident with who you are, how you look, u'll never be satisfied or happy.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

personally, i've been through the deeper end and have surfaced, though not fully. with love comes sacrifice. my love of climbing brought me bigger arms yet when my mum asked if i were willing to give up climbing, there was absolute no hesitation in giving a simple 'No.' even though i'm now more conscious of them, joining

climbing has never been a regret but a great joy. my wardrobe of spaghets and racerbacks once opened their doors to an influx of t-shirts and long-sleeved tops, now, it's both. gee, i'm even gonna get a bareback top! it's SUPER NICE! just tt it's only suitable for clubbing and since i seldom go, it's kind of a pity. hope it'll still be on the shelves *cross fingers* JJ said it reflects on my self-confidence. this is a short excerpt of what he said "I'm happy to hear that u have self confidence in urself . Thats sth positive and keep it going =)" although climbers were the ones tt suddenly made me feel so self-conscious, they were also the ones tt told me i look fine as it is. thx esp to Dan Nit & San. and also i've brought great delight to my bestie n mum, who once said my dress sense is becoming from good to bad... yikes! but, yes, i've finally learnt to be comfortable for who i am and how i look. n tt, gives me self-confidence. though i'm still going on a low-carb diet and exercising much more, i aint gonna be anorexic! chill! =p

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 4:20 PMY

SurviVing the WaiT

as time ticks by, things nv come to a standstill. yet as millions around the world hope that time will come to a halt, simultaneously, millions are hoping tt time will spin faster. my cute lil tuition kid was just telling me today of being a scientist so tt he'd be able to invent a time-machine. think the world would be pretty chaotic by then!

personally, i'd prefer time to spin faster at this point in time, the most obvious reason of course is cos JJ is overseas. sure, time passes pretty quickly for me since i'm a busy person ( as u guys always say to comfort me ;D) but there are still times when a simple hug would help to improve my mood or lift the stress off for just a while. enduring the wait is tough. more so for me than him since he's not really waiting cos it's like a holiday resort over there w lotsa dinners and parties (there's studying too, but less serious). i miss him when i dont get to talk to him, hell, i'd even wait the whole day for him to see if he comes online. waiting is torturous. no qualms about tt.

waiting for the bus, waiting for frenz to arrive, waiting for the lecture to start, waiting for the meeting to start... dont u just wish it'd all just take place at tt instance? unless of course u're laidback and dun really bother if ppl are late. how about waiting for the right time to say? since R and i started talking, he's been telling me alot of what he wanted to say in the past but never got a chance to. 4 yrs of keeping it to himself. the thing about guys is that they try to make things happen, but at times, it doesnt turn out the right way. indeed, he waited for the right time to explain himself and clear things up since i aint holding anything against him. well, i guess it's good to know about the past, though yeah, it's already in the past. but heck, we're cool with each other.

abt coolness.. was talking to Gg just now. we came to a consensus tt anything we talk about are purely just based on us being close frenz so we wouldnt be taken the wrong way. another cool thing i realised was tt he said his gf is super cool abt me as i am super cool abt her. n yeah, she's become my friend. (hmm... issit cos i'm foolish? or tt i dun wanna ji4 chou2? )weird, but amazing. and we get along just fine. talk about waiting and talk about time. she's all that man, but only to Gg. the strongest-headed girl i've ever met.

abt waiting.. i'm waiting for the right mood to sleep.. for the right mood to do work.. but jeez.. yeah.. i'm still waiting. JJ said he'd email me before he'd leave for Amsterdam to go touring but he didnt! hmmphf...

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 12:01 AMY

Cool

[ Gwen Stefani ]

~ * ~

It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life
Passes things, get more comfortable
Everything is going right
*

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
*

And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
*

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain
*

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown, oh
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
*

Yeah, I know we're cool
*

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
*

C-cool, I know we're cool
I know we're cool

~ * ~

Y Lulled to Sleep @ 1:24 PMY

LoVeS

it's amazing how 'time heals all wounds'. well, perhaps not all since some scars nv disappear. i just watched Grey's Anatomy n it ROCKS man! how Izzy wanted her bf to have a new heart n thus needed to make his condition worse before he would be granted one. the power of love yet the foolishness of devotion.

my life has been becoming more interesting of late. perhaps bcos it specifically just revolves around these 3 ppl who are kinda related bcos tt's how i knew them. R, Jus and Gg. Jus was once my so-called 'big bro' cos he would look out for me and made sure i was alright. but he stuck his head into 1 r/s too many and i felt like i was puppet in his game. sure, i knew he loved me as his sister, but he shouldnt have done what he did. w or w/o his manipulation, the relationships b/w R & me, Gg & me didnt work out, which ultimately, i think was for the best (since i've now met JJ =p aint sure if things will work out but stuff are going pretty smooth).

both r/s ended on a bad note, but amazingly, i'm now on great talking terms with the 2 of them. perhaps i dont hold a grudge or that i just dont wanna hate anybody, but it's really amazing to be able to talk to them so comfortably and happily. we'll talk abt the past, their girlfriends, how they are doing, and all this while there aint no hard feelings or bitterness in my tone. they are happily attached w their respective gfs for a couple of yrs and sometimes i even give them advice!

someone could just knock me in the head and ask me why i'm such a fool for even talking to them, much less care abt their current r/s, but it's just something tt i'm happy doing. i'm happy to help out and happy to know tt they are happy where they are. of course, i'm not exchanging my sorrow for their happiness in anyway, but i've really put the past behind me and hope the best for them. yeah, alright, it sounds like i'm a saint or something, considering the fact that some of their actions were so bastardy-like. like, seriously. yet naturally i forgave them both. well, in both r/s i suffered, i cried, i was shattered. yet simultaneously, i grew stronger emotionally, learnt to love, learnt to let go and, pick up the pieces and move on. to me, it's amazing, truly amazing from how far i've walked in the path of love, in the path of hatred, but also in the path of forgiveness and joy.

amazing.